“Meeting” Your Roommate

We strongly encourage you to contact your assigned roommate(s). 

It can be very beneficial to make this connection prior to your arrival on campus. A conversation or exchange of e-mails or phone calls can be helpful as you plan your room set up, ect. Living with another person (or people) can be successful if there is communication, compromise and respect.  Please remember - you filled out a housing application that asked you to answer five lifestyle questions. That is the information we used (as best as possible) to match you with your roommate(s). We are certain that you will likely find an on-line social networking site that will allow you to check-out your roomates(s). We do not consult any such site when making room assignments. Please do
not make assumptions about your roomate(s) based on an on-line site.

Talk to him / her!

Think...what does your on-line profile say about you? Is that what
you want your brand new roommate(s) to see as an introduction to
you? Just something to ponder.

Here are some tips on talking with your roommate for the first time:

• Remember that your roommate is new at this, too.
• If he/she is not home, leave a detailed message– perhaps he/she hasn’t received the packet yet. Also, don’t call too late at night.
• Talk about general areas of interest– music, movies, clubs you are planning to join, fun activities, major, etc.
• Talk about basic lifestyle issues – neat v. messy, stay up late v. goto bed early, etc.
• If you are willing to share items for the room (microwave, TV, stereo, etc.), decide who will bring what.
• Don’t make assumptions about your roommate before you meet him/her.
• Do not hesitate to talk about ‘room rules’ either in advance ofyour arrival or within the first few days of being here. What are the rules about: Guests? Cleaning? Noise? Borrowing clothing, food, electronics, other personal items? We will give everyone a comprehensive list of talking points at the first floor meeting.

~ How to Successfully Live within our Community ~

Expectations of all community members:

1. Respect.  You need to be respectful of yourself.  You need to be respectful of the property of your fellow community members as well as that of Suffolk University.  You need to be respectful of others...even those who are very different than you.  Take this opportunity to learn about people...and yourself! 

2. Responsibility.  You are expected to take responsibility for your actions and the actions of your guests.

3. Rights.   Each member of the community has the following rights:

• The right to read, study and live free from undue interference, unreasonable noise and other distractions which inhibit the exercise of this right.

• The right to expect that others will respect one’s personal belongings.
• The right to a reasonably clean environment in which to live.
• The right to free access to one’s room.
• The right to personal privacy.
• The right to be free from physical or psychological intimidation harassment and/or harm.
4.   Response.  You have the right to have concerns and issues responded to in a reasonable amount of     time.  In return, when you are asked to respond with information, that is expected to happen in a reasonable/designated amount of time.
5.  Reliability.  We rely on all members of the community to speak up when there is a situation that needs to be addressed.  In the same vain, we rely on community members to speak up when they have information about a situation. 

~ Tips on how to be a successful roommate! ~

1. Acceptance.   You need to be accepting of the fact that you will, more than likely, be sharing a room with at least one other person.  You need to give people a chance – in person, not just on a social networking site.  Some people like to party, some people like to study a lot, some people like to go home often and some people may live a life that is very different than yours.  Being accepting doesn’t mean that you have to agree with someone’s lifestyle/activities/hobbies, etc., it means that you are open to the fact that it’s okay that others are different than you.

2. Communication.  You need to communicate with your roommate(s).  Some tips:

Before you arrive on-campus, call your roommate.  Talk about things like: 
• Why did you pick Suffolk?
• What is your major? Why?
• Tell me about your hometown
• Tell me about your family
• Do you want to set up our room in advance (get matching stuff, share expenses, etc.)
• What do you do for fun?
• What’s your favorite...

When you arrive on-campus...
• Wait for all of your roommates to arrive before setting up the room if you haven’t discussed a plan in advance
• Once you are settled, make a list of what types of things you want to get for the room together – lamps, food, supplies, posters, etc.  Shop together!
• Make a list of ground rules for the room.  This should include a cleaning schedule (don’t forget the suite/cluster bathroom); rules about noise during study time and bed time; visitors – gatherings, overnight visitors, etc.; borrowing/sharing anything – food, clothes, computers, printer, TV, pens, etc.; taking messages,; and anything else you can think of!  It’s much easier to do this BEFORE there is a problem.
In person, face-to-face, one-on-one communication is VITAL to a successful roommate relationship!

3. Honesty.  Be honest with yourself.  Be honest with your roommate(s).  Being honest doesn’t mean that you have to divulge your deepest, darkest secrets – unless you are comfortable doing that!  Honesty means talking things out and letting your roommate know when you are concerned about something that is going on between you. 

Honesty is important BEFORE you meet your roommate, too.  Did you fill out your housing application or did your mom or dad?  Is it truthful?  That is the only information we use to match you up.  If you feel like you need to make changes, please see me after this and we can update your application.

What about your facebook.com or myspace.com page?  Is that an honest representation of you?  Let me tell you – once you get your room assignment information in the mail, the first thing that you are going to do is go to facebook or myspace to look up the person.  If someone looks you up, are they going to want to share a room with you?  PS – we don’t use social networking sites to match – or unmatch – roommates.

4. Respect.  You need to respect your roommate(s) and you need to be respected by your roommate(s).  Respect is, however, often earned. 

5. Compromise.  No matter who you live with – sibling, parents, spouse, friend- there will always be a need for compromise!  It may be over something simple...watching a television show...or something not so simple like having overnight guests.  If you can set the ground rules as listed above, when the time comes, making a compromise may be a little easier.  Everyone needs to make compromises...not just one person.

6. Conflict Resolution.  Even if you have followed the advice so far, there is likely to come a time when you and your roommate are in need of conflict resolution.  Please don’t let something simmer – it WILL blow up into a mess.  Trust me.  If you are not sure how to approach a situation, please be in touch with your Resident Assistant.  They can give you suggestions on how to approach the situation.  So many problems will be resolved with a simple, sit-down conversation with the people involved.